my steping note

Christmas is coming to town....Yey

2011-11-28T00:45:00.000-08:00

Christmas is coming…the weather is windy, the cloud is cloudy, the rain is pouring…it’s so typical Christmas’s smell every year I embrace. Tough Christmas really happens in the next 25 days ahead. Ooohhhh….how I miss the smell of cookies baked, decoration of Christmas tree, the discount on every mall…wakakakakak….the last is so interesting…*cheerssss*

When I was a child, things which connect me with Christmas are new clothes, girly accessories, new pair of shoes, dolls or any other present from mom, dad or other relatives. Those years were gone, I didn’t expect any of them just like it used to be, I started to realize that buying new clothes or pair of shoes didn’t always on every Christmas, but EVERY MONTH…wakakakakakkaka……I was really grown up didn’t I? *can’t help it, I swear to God*

No,,, yeah…I was kidding….the one thing need to be prepared is a sincere heart. How I being so truthfully blessed to be able celebrate Christmas again this year, therefore this is my first time celebrating Christmas with my dear husband. Although I spend Christmas with him for almost four times, but sure it will definitely different, something coming for the first time maybe exciting me nevertheless you as my loyal readers. *hehehehhee* I’m not only preparing things for me, myself, but also for my little family as well.

As year passed, the essential of Christmas is not the celebration, but how I individually receive Jesus Christ as my only one savior. There were many time I ask why God? Why is this happening to me? and uncountable WHY continue repeating in my life. Through His word on His Holly Bible, He gives me strength, He gives me power, and He said I can’t go thru this. Sometimes there were no conversation between us, since I only can cry, cry and cry ever since I folded my hands to pray. I face many obstacles, but I face many miracles as well.

I hope and pray that the spirit of Christmas makes me strong, gives me faith, pours me blessing. And I asked God if He agrees, I wanted to have little baby inside of my womb as my greatest gift ever on this Christmas. Amen.

Have a wonderful Christmas atmosphere folks!! God bless you ^_^

Nothing Lasts Forever

2011-11-07T01:08:00.000-08:00

Ada renungan bagus, dibaca ya semoga menjadi berkat buat kita semua...

Ada seorang raja yang terkenal dengan kebijaksanaannya. Dan pada suatu haru sang raja meminta kepada tukang emasnya yg sudah tua renta untuk menuliskan sesuatu didalam cincinnya. Raja berpesan, "Tuliskanlah sesuatu yang bisa kamu simpulkan dari seluruh perjalanan hidupmu, supaya itupun bisa menjadi pelajaran utk hidup saya".Berbulan-bulan si tukang emas itu membuat cincinya, lalu lebih sulitnya menuliskan apa yang penting di cincin emas yang kecil itu. Akhirnya setelah berdoa dan berpuasa, si tukang emas itupun menyerahkan cincinnya pd sang raja. Dan dengan tersenyum, sang raja membaca tulisan kecil di cincinnya. Bunyinya, "These too, will pass" ("Dan yang inipun akan berlalu"). Awalnya sang raja tidak terlalu paham dengan apa yang tertulis disana. Tapi, suatu ketika, tatkala menghadapi persoalan kerajaan yang pelik, akhirnya ia membaca tulisan di cincin itu & ia pun menjadi lebih tenang, "Dan inipun akan berlalu." Dan tatkala ia sedang bersenang2, ia pun tak sengaja membaca tulisan di cincin itu, lantas ia menjadi rendah hati kembali. Betul! Ketika anda lagi punya masalah besar ataupun sedang lagi dlm kondisi terlalu bahagia, ingatlah kalimat itu,"Dan inipun akan berlalu."

Kalimat ini, kalo direnungkan dgn bijak akan mengantarkan kita pada keseimbangan hidup. Tidak ada satupun yang langgeng. Jadi, tatkala anda lagi senang, nikmatilah selagi anda bisa senang.

Ingatlah.... Apapun yang kau hadapi saat ini semuanya akan berlalu. Jadilah orang yang :

- Tetap SEJUK di tmpt yang Panas...

- Tetap MANIS di tmpat yang begitu Pahit...

- Tetap merasa Kecil meskipun telah menjadi besar... dan

- Tetap TENANG di tengah badai yang paling Hebat....serta...

- Tetap mengandalkan Tuhan dalam segala perkara.....

Renungan diatas itu adalah BBM dari suami saya yg dia kirimkan selepas perut kenyang disiang hari a.k.a LUNCH,,,hihihihiii....segitunya sampe mesti di bold, italic n di underline....krn buat sayah lunch hari ini begitu nikmat krn itu adalah sekotak nasi GRATIS Ny. Hendrawan...lezattt tak terkiraa....*okeyy saya mulai tambah lebay dan lebarrrrr....hufttttttttttttttttt

Entah mengapa seusai perut kenyang oleh nasi kotak Ny. Hendrawan itu, hati dan jiwa saya yang kosong merasa terpuaskan dengan membaca renungan BBM dari suami saya tercinta itu....*tsahhhh....Renungan diatas itu maknanya dalam bgt lhooo...kalah deh dalammnya sumur di film horor Jepang The Ring itu, dimana sang hantu Nona Sadako suka keluar dr situ...hihihiihihih....

Terkadang ketika senang saya suka terlenaaa..aaaa..ku terlenaaa.....*tebak lagu apa hayooo???? sampe lupa bahwa hari esok itu masih rahasia, kadang klo klo lg sedih juga terlenaaaa....hah...hidup kok kerjaannya terlena mulu yahhh.....hahahahha....itulah sebabnya saya merasa seperti dihajar oleh Mohammad Ali di bagian otak pas baca renungan ini...kok kadang saya suka senang berlebihan, kadang suka sedih berlebihan...padahal klo as wise man says...hidup itu berputar lhoo...ga melulu senang, n gak mlulu sedih...jd mesti dinikmatin dengan sebaik2nya....sekali melloow jgn kelamaan, sekalinya happy harus berhikmat.....

Eh setali tiga uang, tiba2 tmn kantor saya yg duduk di pas di ~~bawah~~ belakang saya, teh dwi alias dwi indarti ngomong "ppsssstttt,,baca deh note gw di eFBe...huffttt daripada gw ditodong sm senjata lg sm kyk awal2 gw ~~dipaksa~~ disuruh buat blog, akhirnya dengan semangat 45 gw mulai membuka eFBe dia n mulai membaca.....It was nice....she wrote it simple nevertheless it's deep man!!! Can't believe me? cekidot this one man

http://www.facebook.com/notes/dwi-indarti/-menteng-/10150382796974914

Mulai skrg, aku akan menjalani hidup yang lebih baik lageeee.....walau susah walau berdarah2 kyk adegan2 di film Rumah Dara atau Pintu Terlarang...gw akan berusahaa....Tlng bantu saya ya agan2 semua...caranya ketik PETTY krm pulsa ke 085693093xxx justt kidding bading ding oiii...ding ding bading ding....

Fairy Tale VS Fairy Real

2011-10-11T20:34:00.000-07:00

Klo ada kalimat “Once upon a time” biasanya pembukaan niy dlm suatu cerita, ud bisa diduga akhirannya “….and their live happy ever after”. Nah ud ketebak dunks ini cerita apaan? Yg pasti bukan stensilan,,,hihhihihii….Yup it’s a fairy tale….cerita si cewe dengan kecantikan yg luar biasa tp nasibnya luar binasa apes…Cinderella’s story and banyak juga dongeng2 semacamnya. My question is : ada ga siy yg kyk gituh di kehidupan nyata??And guess what, ada lhooo….And the story goess.....

Salah satu keluarga di tmpt gw tinggal, sebut aja keluarga X, depannya X belakangnya A, tengah2nya EN, jiahhh ini mah ketebak ga??? XENA,, tp boong dengg,,mana the warrior princess nikah? Pdhl dulu gw sempet berharap si Xena nikah sm Hercules…gmn hubungan suami istrinya yaa?? Gw rasa lebih parah dr adegan Mr & Mrs Smith yng ~~eMeL~~ berhubungan abis berantem….(Gosh I think they’re so ~~damn~~ sexy, kekerasan dlm rumah tangga ga selalu ~~negative~~ jelek bro…hahhahaa…) eniwei kerahasian nama keluarga ini gw simpen rapat2,,,hehehe….I swear to God (ga pake cross fingers)

Keluarga ini terdiri dari Ayah, Ibu dan 2 orang anak, putra dan putri, tp beneran deh ni bukan Kel BUDI, knp sih klo di Pelajaran BHS. INDO, selalu ada “INI BAPAK BUDI, INI IBU BUDI” knp selalu BUDI sih? Sekali2 ganti kek,,,pake nama EMINEM juga asyikk…walau rada ~~ribet~~ panjang,,ini Bapak Eminem, ini Ibu Inem,,,hahahahahah….

Ikan pari ikan cucut…yuks mari lanjutttt….pas anak2ny msh kecil, sang kepala keluarga dipanggil Tuhan YME, serangan jantung, jd mendadak bgt, dan sang istri ga siap sm keadaan ditinggal sm suami, mana istrinya hanya ibu rumah tangga biasa, dan bisa ketebak they have some financial issues. Tapi ya keajaiban mah pasti ada aja yaa, anak2nya bs tuh sekolah seperti anak2 yang lainnya. Putri yang pertama sekolah sampe lulus SMA, walau ga lanjut ke Perguruan Tinggi krn ketidakmampuan sang Ibu. Si putri berwajah jelita akhirnya kerja di satu pabrik dan ini boleh kesannya sinetron, tp ini beneran true story,, si BOSS suka sm si putri jelita…thanks God si Boss adalah duda beranak 2, jd si putri jelita ga dimadu or disiri or nikah dibawah tangan or dibawah meja or dibawah tanah….hhehehehehe

Si putri jelita pun berhasil dipacari si boss, and thanks God (once again) si BOSS mukanya baby face jd unyu-unyu gituh…kiyut pastinya….sang putri jelita pun akhirnya dikuliahkan and dinikahi,,gw lupa mana yg duluan, dinikahi or baru dikuliahin…pokokeee gitu lahhhh….and I called it a Fairy Real, not fairy tale…

Sang ibu dari putri jelita pun bahagia,,,sapa pernah menyana bahwa keadaan hidupnya akan berbalik 180 derajat seperti itu….semua perjuangan hidup, segala pahit nyeri akhirnya berbuahkan manis. Mendapat menantu yang baik hati, senang menolong, ke-baby2facean, kaya raya, punya dua anak, tabungan di berbagai merek bank, heheheheh last but not least, menantu ini menyayangi putrinya dan menerima keluarganya apa adanya…..oooohhh so sweet….*tes…tess…dan airmata pun mengalir di pipi chubbyku…

What I can conclude is that you’ll never know what future will bring to you….it’s a secret of life…jalanin aja kehidupan dengan sebaik2nyaa….berusaha ga banyak komplen….krn ujung dari perjalanan ini blm ketauan….just see and you’ll be amazed.

As Andy F. Noya once said “ Kebahagiaan itu berasal dari hati yang bersyukur”

I Won't Complain

2011-09-13T01:52:00.000-07:00

"Sudah jatuh tertimpa tangga pula" pepatah ini udah lama bgt gw tau, sejak jaman gw msh imut2 pake seragam putih n rok merah yg lebarrrr...but then it was only a sentence without having really understand the meaning is...klo menurut gw bhs slangnya itu "Sh*t happens"
I have this overwhelming sadness feeling lately, cos urusan domestic RT and losing my self confidence somehow...me?? The humorous one? The cheerful one? The one who always make funny or silly quotation? Yes, me...COL *crying out loud*

Pernah ga da org berada di titik terendaah dlm hidupnya, merasa impoten (not sex I mean) menurut kamus impoten itu artinya unable to do something, so it's not only about that yummy sex rite? *ooopppps* I guess everyone must have the position as lowest as possible. How to console your mood?
Cara yg paling ampuh adlh bercerita,,,sharring this to someone u trust...Well, I did..many things I conveyed to my best pals. But still tears just come out heavily from my eyes.
I can't resist it, I'm ~~insane~~ frustrated somehow….

But then, gw sadar sesadar2nya bahwa ga ada org yang ga punya masalah…semua org yg hidup pasti ada masalah, gw mendadak merasa menjadi penjual ikan *selfish* dng bermuram durja,merana gundah gulana, gundala putra petir #halahsesat# tp khan..kahn….pembelaan gw nih…kok gw merasa cuma gw doank yg sedih, gw doank yg kuatir akan hidup ini, gw doank yg merasa kurang beruntung…but hey *someone pliss slap me in the face* gmn sm anak2 yg kurang mampu disana, gmn sm masa depan mrk, or gmn keadaan oma/opa di panti jompo yg ga ditengok-tengok sm anak/familynya padahal ud 3 kali Puasa, 3 kali Lebaran….*Bang Toyib modeon* so, who’s the lucky ~~bitch~~ woman? Me!! *ngacung*

I have a lovable husband ~~sometimes~~, caring famz, tender frens, I couldn’t ask for more khan??!! I should’ve been grateful for that….*hadeuhh,,ceurik deui,,mulai nyari2 handuk*

Sampai kmrin pas lg cuti seusai acrobat lompat indah dr bus kota dan alhasil pinggang memar dan tangan keseleo, gw buka2 twitter dan baca timeline Melaney Ricardo, she said “If u keep complaining bout ur life\if feel so much pain in ur life!go 2you tube&search @johnlegend's song called "I won't complain" Amazing☺”

Gw minta tmn gw donlotin itu videonya trs gw nyari liriknya…and BOOMM!!! In that video on you tube, John Legend performed @oprahshow and he sang his favorite church song “I WON’T COMPLAIN” Jikalau/seandainya/apabila *coret yang tidak perlu* gw ga berada di kantor, gw pasti ud COL *Cried Out Loud* liriknya ngena bgt buat gw,,ga perlu pendeta khotbah 3 hari 3 malam utk sadarin gw akan kebodohan, which is I feel totally DUMB!!! tp dengan lagu dengan durasi 3-4 menit, dgn lirik yang menyentuh, I’M AWAKE!! Here it goes the lyrics which makes me berdarah-darah mendengarnya…..cekidot gan!

I've Had Some Good Days
I’ve Had Some Hills To Climb
I’ve Had Some Weary Days
and Some Sleepless Nights

but When I Look Around
and I Think Things Over
all Of My Good Days
outweigh My Bad Days
I Won't Complain

sometimes The Clouds Are Low
I Can Hardly See The Road
I Ask A Question, Lord
lord, Why So Much Pain?
but He Knows What's Best For Me
although My Weary Eyes
they Can't See
so I'll Just Say Thank You Lord
I Won't Complain

the Lord
has Been So Good To Me
he's Been Good To Me
more Than This Old World Or You Could Ever Be
he's Been So Good
to Me

he Dried All Of My Tears Away
turned My Midnights Into Day
so I'll Just Say Thank You Lord
I’ve Been Lied On
but Thank You Lord
I’ve Been Talked About
but Thank You Lord
I’ve Been Misunderstood
but Thank You Lord
you Might Be Sick
body Reeking With Pain
but Thank You Lord
the Bills Are Due
don't Know Where The Money Coming From
but Thank You Lord
thank You Lord
thank You Lord
I Want
I Want To Thank God
God has Been So Good To Me
He's Been Good To Me
more Than This Old World Or You Could Ever Be
He's Been So Good
He's Been So Good
He's Been So Good
so Good to Me

he Dried All Of My Tears Away
turned My Midnight Into Day

I won’t say “I Won’t Complain” but I rather prefer I Try Not To Complain, semua pasti butuh proses, pendewasaan, dlm menerima kenyataan, menghadapi kegagalan diri, kekurangan diri baik fisik or mental,, I’m still studying…I never gonna be strong if I couldn’t face my own problem. As wise man says, Learning is a process which never ends, and shall I say then so Be It!!

Music Anyone???

2011-09-05T02:57:00.000-07:00

When I was young
I'd listen to the radio
Waitin' for my favorite songs When they played I'd sing along
It made me smile.

Those were such happy times
And not so long ago
How I wondered where they'd gone
But they're back again
Just like a long lost friend
All the songs I loved so well.

Every Sha-la-la-la
Every Wo-o-wo-o
Still shines
Every shing-a-ling-a-ling
That they're startin' to sing's
So fine.

Carpenters ~ Yesterday Once More

Ada suatu masa dalam perjalanan pencarian jati diri gw *tsahhh…bahasanya ga nahan yaa* moment yg paling gw suka adalah pulang sekolah, makan dan ganti baju trs nyetel radio. Macem2 radio, Mustang, Prambors, SK, TMI (skrg I-Radio), first of all krn muterin lagu yang kala itu GW BGT!! Happening abis dehh, Boyzone, Boys II Men, Backstreet Boys, Bed and Breakfast, All for One, etc jadi klo skrng baru booming Boyband semacam Sm*sh,,HELLOOW…Kemana aje yee, mungkin wktu itu mrk msh pake kemeja putih & celana merah selutut kali yaa hihihihii…)

Eniwei,, masa itu adlh masa pemutihan kulit utk gw, secara ktm matahari pas mulai berangkat sekolah smp pulangny, begitu smp rumah langsung ngadem di kmr n gak keluar2 kmr kecuali laper or nyokap manggil~eh teriak deng...Gw suka bgt beli kaset (duh ketauan jaman apa nihhh) kosong n ngerekam lagu fav gw yuanggggg notabene ga dipotong sm iklan, dlm hal ini radio paling cihuy adlh,,,,eng ing eng SONORA….*standing applause everyone* Yup, this is it (Farah Quinn’s intonation) my fav radio. Jadi gw rekam lagu2 yg gw suka and puter2 berulang2 kali utk catat liriknya….mengenaskan “hiks..hikss* banget ya jaman dulu, maklum ga da internet, jd ga bisa browsing 4shared or nyontek lirik deghh…*airmata ud seember* Tapi jika segala sesuatu diambil hikmahnya…(kebanyakan liat kultum) gw jd terbiasa nulis bahasa inggris berdasarkan pendengaran gw n mastiin artinya di kamus….gw merasa keren bgt, sumpehhh!! Dan alhasil nilai bahasa inggris gw paling jelek adlh 9, hahahhaaa….silahkan nimpuk kamus ke muka gw klo eneq bacanyaa… ^_*

Back then I realized, hidup gw selalu diwarnai sm music, dgn berbagai aliran kecuali dangdut…bukan krn gw anti or gimana, suka sih sm beberapa lagunya tp blm pernah smp umur gw 20 taon skrng (hahahah….percaya gaa?? Percaya dung…) gw beli kaset or cd dangdut…sekali lagi bukan karna gw antipati tp emank sayang aja buang uang beli dangdutan sementara bnyk klo bs dgr gratisan di bis or di tipi2…gw jg ga apal judul2 lagu dangdut kyk selamat malam-ny Evie Tamala, Jatuh Bangun-nya Christina, Goyang Inul-nya Inul….lhoo ini apa????mulai menampar pipi sendiri *plak-plak*

Ehh, tp jujur deh, jawab dlm ati aja pertanyaan gw, ga usah jawab kenceng2, pernah ga begitu denger lagu langsung *tek* teringat sm suatu moment, kenangan sm tmn, gebetan, mantan pacar, selingkuhan, mantan suami/istri, suami org or istri org???? ihihihii..

Ada beberapa lagu yang kenaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (a-nya smp Timbuktu) bgt di hati dan otak gw begitu gw denger…kdng mendadak melooo, nangis, senyum2 sendiri (smp org disebelah gw pas di bis pindah kursi krn takut abis gw senyum2 sendiri trs gw mulai jambak n gigit2 dia…#mulaisesat#abaikan#) and it still happens “till now….Bahkan, klo kgn bgt sm someone in the past, I used to play the “our songs” from that time…kdng pengen cari tau gmn kabarnya dia skrng..but the reality screams in my head “What in the hell you are trying to do Mam??!! Klo kata Reza & Masaki Ueda ~Biarlah Menjadi Kenangan~

Disadari ato ga, music memberi warna dlm kehidupan, itu berdasarkan pengalaman gw sendiri,,mungkin sebagian besar org pernah merasa begitu pula…music touches our heart in many ways and colors our life with beautiful paint.Music anyone???

Every Sha-la-la-la
Every Wo-o-wo-o
Still shines
Every shing-a-ling-a-ling
That they're startin' to sing's
So fine.

Mask of Life

2011-08-22T21:18:00.000-07:00

Pernah ga yaa ada orang yang bener2 "polos" dalam hidupnya. Nunjukin ekspresi marah pas lg marah, nampangin muka kesel kalo lg kesel, nulis "pengen makan orang" di jidat klo lg marah tingkat negara....As far as I'm concern, kyknya ga pernah....Mayoritas makhluk yg disebut "manusia" setidaknya cuma menunjukan 25% dari kepribadian mereka yang sesungguhnya. Menurut Iceberg Theory, people only shows 25 % of their personalities, while the 75% is below the surface. Jadeee,,kesimpulannya adalah "Munafik". Somehow gw ga pengen jd org seperti itu...gw pengen apa adanya, tp apa adanya ga bisa terjadi, klo semua orang pd "ga gitu". Klo kata Godbless mah Dunia Ini Panggung Sandiwara...dan we are the players....We can't be ourselves, to be honest...

Masing-masing dari kita sadar ga sadar mengenakan topeng, yaa bukan semacam topeng di filmnya Mask-nya Jim Carrey, tp invisible mask. Coba skrang dijawab pertanyaan ini "pernah ga bete dr rumah, sampai kantor disimpen rapat2 betenya and ttp becanda2 sm tmn2 kantor?? ayo ngacung.....(Gue :*ngacung tinggi2 smp ketek basah jd kering*) Well, I do that...sering banget....walau hati berdarah2 gara2 urusan domestik rumah tangga, ttp khan mesti, klo istilah katanya "Profesional". Hiks..hiks...it's pretty hard...quite hard...hmmm...actually it's A DAMN HARD...susah gelaaaaa.....klo aktris mah dibayar utk itu...nah ini...*hufttttttt

Mostly people recognize me as cheerful, humorist, etc, well in fact I'm not...I'm so moody, plin plan, ceroboh (terbukti dari banyakny sendal, piring, gelas, komputer, kompos gas yg hancur di tangan gw, *my best friends knew it well)

So, bener adanya pepatah Jawa yang mengatakan "Don't judge the book by its cover" tapi bacalah isi bukunya halaman per halaman, dan setidaknya bisa memahami sesuatu didalamnya.In my opinion "Don't quick to judge me, because I only show what I choose to show" bertemanlah denganku, maka kau akan tau kecerobohanku...hahahahhahahaa.....

"The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can't be any large-scale revolution until there's a personal revolution, on an individual level. It's got to happen inside first."

— Jim Morrison

trigger to write

2011-07-13T02:09:00.000-07:00

"Please put the gun down, mam...." I asked nicely to dwi...And she scarily replied...."Not after you make you own fu*kin' blog......okey,, kedengannya berlebihan bgt waktu teh dwi (teman kantor yg nongkrong dibelakang tmpt duduk gw di kantor...*lama yaaaa ngejeleasinnyaaa.....) but then Walahhhh....I made it too....not because she insisted me...tp gw pikir gw juga punya bakat menulis..ya beti (beda2 tipis) deh sm JK Rowling) hmmm...overwhelming memang....*malu2 muka membiru....hah..mayat kali yaaa....eniwei after those times my writing ini my mind...now I definitely can make my own notes on the screen of blog...PUJI TUHAN....sound relijius yachhh...well can't deny it, can I?HAH....Big Mouth....but sexy tough!!!

This time I have no extremely any creative idea....so next time would be better....Dengan kekuatan bulan, akan mulai menulis....*SailorWrite